Beau Pony Strikes Again

My blog was beginning to feel a little bit boring. It’s been a while since I’ve had any pony misdeeds to share, but the farm mascot came through for me a few days ago. Beau Pony had spent the past few weeks in our back yard mowing and looking longingly into adjacent paddocks. Darling Husband and I had rotated our full size horses into the neighbor’s pasture, and moved the pony mares plus Tater Tot and Koda into the back pasture to give the side paddock grass some much needed relief. We decided Beau Pony would enjoy some time in the side paddock. One small miniature horse could not keep up with the grass in the side paddock, and it would give Beau Pony a much larger area to run. Since Thistle’s donkey enclosure is located in the side paddock, we figured it would give her some entertainment to break up the monotony of napping and eating hay.

Beau Pony did not disappoint. The moment we turned him loose in the side paddock, he did the obligatory perimeter check, trumpeted his presence, and then began prancing the fence line by the back pasture with the animation that only a sexually frustrated stud pony with an unobstructed view of his harem can muster. Sadly none of his ladies were in season, and they were in a huge pasture with almost knee high fresh grass. Their stomachs over-ruled libido, and they ignored the antics of the tiny black stallion. Thistle looked at him like he was insane, but kept a wary eye on the little devil trotting back and forth in front of her enclosure while munching her hay. Apparently we provide dinner and a show on the Gardner farm.

Eventually (like several hours later) Beau decided to cease the displays of his manhood and settle down to grazing as well. All was well for the next few days, which encouraged a false sense of security among all of the farm residents. In reality Beau Pony was simply plotting his next move for the moment everyone would least expect it. I’m pretty sure Moonshine was the instigator. Once she was full and bloated from eating grass, she camped out on the other side of Beau’s fence. I guess she was feeling a little self conscious about her weight after gorging herself, and a little male attention gave her a confidence boost. Beau stood beside her sticking his nose through the fence, nibbling at her while making appreciative stallion grunt noises. When he got a little too fresh, she squealed and kicked out.

At some point in the early morning a few days after we thought everyone had settled into their new enclosures, Beau decided he was not all that thrilled with the sleeping arrangements. Sometime early one Monday morning he decided to do something about it. We’re not exactly sure how he managed it, but the little fiend busted through the center rail of our vinyl fencing and went to frolic with his ladies. While Moonshine may have encouraged his attentions when they were separated by a fence, she really wasn’t interested in taking this relationship public. Koda was not happy about a boy tagging along on the all girls vacation in the back pasture, and decided to thwart all of Beau’s attempts to get closer to any of the female ponies in the field. She rounded all of the ladies into a group and (cock?) blocked all Beau’s attempts to flirt.

Of course the little stallion’s antics and tactics became more aggressive and boisterous, which led to a stampede in the back pasture. I’m barely functional without my minimum 32 oz of coffee, so I was completely oblivious to the excitement in the back pasture as I loaded Offspring in the truck and headed to work. One of my co-workers that lives in the neighborhood behind our property called to tell me she enjoyed watching our horses that morning, and it never occurred to me that something out of the ordinary had happened. I say that like pony escapes are a rarity on our farm, but sadly they are an all too common occurrence.

It wasn’t until around 9:30 am that Darling Husband informed me that “my” pony had destroyed yet more fencing, and was in “time-out” again. Apparently, Darling Husband was almost trampled by a group of panicked mares running towards him to “save” them from the unwelcome suitor in their pasture. Once they ran past, and Beau had a view of DH holding a halter, he new his good time had come to an end. DH said the little guy was almost relieved to be caught he was breathing so hard from his morning excursion, little sides heaving as he tried to catch his breath.

So Beau, exhausted and unrepentant, was once again sentenced to time in the back yard which would put another paddock between him and the girls. There would be less temptation to bust through two fences in his quest for love.

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